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The Instagram Song


A song that I have written and recorded poorly. It contains o̶n̶e̶ two swear words. 🎤Leeeerics🎤 On your facebook I see pictures of Canary Islands '07 So I double-tap To zoom in That's a sensible progression It's what I expect It's what I expect On your twitter I see a picture of a beautiful shoreline so I double-tap to zoom in That's standard interface design It's what I expect It's what I expect On your instagram [long pause and sigh to indicate what I am about to say does not make me happy] I see a picture of you and I quite like it So I double tap to zoom in Oh f***ing hell I've liked it . If I delete my account will that get me out of this situation? If I unlike it immediately will she still get the notification? And if she does how will she think of me after that? I suppose it depends on whether Instagram tells her the exact picture I was looking at. Oh Instagram I'm afraid that it's fundamentally reckless to meddle with a series of universally recognised gestures. And Instagram I think that it cannot be disputed Double-tap to zoom has been the standard since Steve Jobs introduced it. I could pretend like it was deliberate like I was making an ironic comment on the nature of human duality and the way we ... I mean that's just sh*t. I could sporadically like other pictures the effect of which would ideally obscure me singling out the one of you in your bikini So when you get a moment please consider a retraction it's not too late for you to change the default interaction and also if you get a moment (and I don't mean to sound bossy) but if possible, when you get a sec, could you ask her to unblock me? I've sent like four or five support emails about this so... ...just when you get a chance.

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